Pre-Marital Sex and What It is Doing to Us

This post comes from the fact that a friend who will remain anonymous, and asked me to approach this subject. So, before I begin this post I already know that many of you will not agree with me. I will also state that in my life I have not been perfect, but I have learned a lot from my mistakes and wish to pass that knowledge on to those who will come after me.

Sexual sin is one of the most powerful sins that we as human beings can participate in. It infiltrates us to the deepest core of our soul and we do not even realize the effect that it is having on us. Scientific study of sex has shown that when sexual sin is going on between two human beings the chemicals released during sex can be similar to those of many addictive drugs.

The Apostle Paul is very thorough on the sexual sin issue. He writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies." You may be asking yourself at this point "What is this guy getting at?" Well here we go.

Sex was designed for two very specific reasons. One, the husband and the wife were to become one through sexual intercourse and connect emotionally and physically through the sexual experience. Two, it was designed for the purpose of creating and sustaining human life. Creating little human beings called babies.

Many people believe that the sexual revolution began in the 1960's. This would be an understatement at best. It has it's roots in the 1920's. This is when women and men began to move away from the Victorian way of doing things and more towards a Freudian school of thought. Another key piece of equipment was introduced into this mix that gave Americans more freedom than ever before. The automobile gave the American more freedom to move around, travel, and socialize outside of established social circles. This created the current establishment of dating and moved away from the previous Victorian era of courting. When the human being receives more freedom and can move about as wanted they will challenge the barriers that have been established in the past. This easily paved the way for the ability for the human being to be tempted into having pre-marital sex.

Pre-marital sex causes problems in the most intimate place for a married couple, the bedroom. The reason for this is that men and women who have engaged in pre-marital sex often compare their sexual experiences with one partner to another. This can often lead to awkward and confrontational conversations between couples after they are married because their current partner cannot satisfy them the way they were in a previous relationship. As a aspiring college pastor I often hear younger adults say today "I need to test drive the car before I buy it." The simple fact is this. Human beings are not cars. Cars are cold machines made of steel, carbon fiber, and plastic. They are not human beings created by God, with a soul, and deep feelers of emotion. I do not understand how we as wonderful creations of God can lower ourselves to a creation of metal, carbon fiber, and plastic.

The amount of pre-marital sex out in the world today has desensitized us to what it means to develop a emotional and physical connection to the person we are choosing to be with. Rather we have decided that we should fulfill only the sexual desire that we feel we need. This can be seen in television, movies, and music that is being produced by the mainstream media. Recent examples of that include musical releases by artists such as Rihanna, 2 Chainz and many others. 

In these videos released by the music industry you see multiple desensitized images of what sex is. Rather than sex being something that is sacred between a husband and wife it is treated like something that is meant to fulfill personal desire. There is nothing sacred in these presentations that are seen here. This is not the design that God has set forth for man and woman and the sexual relationship. Yes, we are supposed to enjoy each other sexually but not like this. Pre-marital sex has opened the floodgate for the degradation of women, degrading of the male as the head of the household, and images such as these. These images are having a lasting and terrible effect on the people who are seeing them. Children see these images and hear these lyrics from an early age, because many parents today fail to understand the lasting effects that entertainment like this are having on the future of society. 

When speaking with many young people today I hear them say "The lyrics of a song do not really matter." or "I just listen to it for the beat." However, the people of today are so desensitized that they cannot grasp the amount of damage that is happening to their emotional and psychological well being. Also, their ability to have a healthy sexual relationship. 

Abortion is a consequence of pre-marital sex. In 1973 their were 1.6 million abortions. In 1990 their were 1.6 million abortions resulting in what appears to be 43 million abortions since Roe v. Wade was decided by the Supreme Court. As I mentioned earlier sexual intercourse was created for two reasons. One of those is to create children. When a person engages in sexual intercourse they are possibly going to create a baby. However, in a world where the consequence of sin and self accountability have been thrown out the window the United States has chosen to believe that a baby with a heartbeat is not a human being. I have even heard an unborn child referred to as a "parasite" by a coworker because it is sucking the life out of the mother. Forty-Three million creations of God have been thrown in the trash, sucked out by vacuum cleaners and destroyed by any means necessary by doctors who have veiled the truth of God with a curtain of science. 

Sexually Transmitted Diseases are a consequence of pre-marital sex. STD rates have skyrocketed since 1960. Prior to 1960 doctors in the United States were battling two major STD's in the United States according to ChristianLifeResources.com. Now their are over 30 different types of STD's in the U.S. alone. Twenty-five percent of sexually active teens have an STD, a 500% increase in herpes cases since 1976, HPV among young females has gone through the roof, five million new Americans will contract a new STD this year and 85% of those who contract that disease will not show any signs of it. This is alarming information. I believe every part of the Bible and in the Bible God brought plague and disease to people who had fallen away from Him. God is in control of everything and with God being in control of everything He has the power to bring disease and suffering to those who choose to live outside of His will. If you are involved in sexual sin you are living outside of His will. 

Unwanted Pregnancy, Unwanted Marriages, and Divorce are all consequences of pre-marital sex.  My dad always said this to me. "If you are not ready to provide for a family then you should not be having sex." When one becomes pregnant it is an emotional roller coaster. Children change every dynamic of the life that you thought you had. You might be "in love" with the person you are having sexual relations with but you might not quite be mentally ready for marriage. I have always asked young men and women "If you are not ready to be married why are you doing things only married people should do?" Here is the response I get. "Because it's fun."or "Because it feels good.". This is the wrong answer and it is the answer that Hollywood and mainstream media are preaching to our children. We allow ourselves to absorb it and let it bypass us rather than hit them head on and tell them "Enough is enough." Divorce is one of the most painful things a person can ever go through. I have a personal friend who has been divorced three times. Yes, three times. In all of those divorces he has felt defeated and depleted emotionally. I can only imagine the view or marriage a young man or woman would have if they were married at a young age because of an unwanted pregnancy and then divorced and faced to raise a child on their own. There are many other consequences to pre-marital sex but I will not preach on. Rather I will leave it with you the reader where you stand.

In closing. As a sensible human being I would never walk up to a hive full of angry bees and hit it with a baseball bat and stand around waiting to see what happened. Rather, I would leave the bee hive alone and carry on with my hike in the woods in a different direction. When we as human beings open ourselves up to sexual sin we open ourselves up to thousands of consequences that can destroy us spiritually, mentally, and physically. Much like a hive full of angry bees. God bless. 

Humility......24 Months of Humility.

Humility

Humility is defined by Merriam Webster as: the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people: the quality or state of being humble. 

With that being said this is something I have struggled with since I was born. I do not know where this behavior comes from. This is not a behavior my father and or mother instilled in me. It just kinda appeared one day. I have never been humble and this is something I am working on since I have had my most vain quality taken away from me in the last two years. I never really thought I was the best looking guy or smartest guy in the room but when it came to athletic competition I believed I could beat anyone, anywhere, at any time. 

This came to a screeching halt 24 months ago during a Army Flag Football game. I had come to my new unit and quickly entrenched myself as the starting quarterback for the D. Co. 344 MI BN Football Team and we were winning, boy were we winning. As a QB I had not had this much success since playing for Kappa Delta Phi at my undergraduate alma mater Brewton-Parker College and winning the colleges championship two years in a row as the QB for my fraternity. Previous to this night my new found team was gelling after a five overtime victory over a team that was much better than us athletically. The winning touchdown was scored by me on a 25 yard touchdown run that made me feel like I was the fastest man in the world. We won 35-33 and I could not be happier. We were 3-0 and it looked like D. Co. was easily on it's way to another Corry Station Flag Football Championship. Well that all changed for me on a Wednesday night in August 2011. Eight minutes into a 10 minute half Delta Co. was up 28-0 on the Navy Hospital and I had thrown two touchdown passes and run one for a touchdown while our defense had contributed with an interception for a touchdown giving us a 28-0 lead. In the huddle I called a fade route into the corner of the end zone to my best receiver and knew we would get another Touchdown. I received the snap, was flushed out of the pocket, rolled right and threw a 40 Yard BOMB into the back right corner of the end zone. As I watched it leave my hand I heard a pop and my life would never be the same. The pass was completed for another touchdown and we were up 34-0 but I had never felt pain like this before. I tried to get up and run back into the huddle but my knee gave way and I knew it was something bad. The next day I was not shocked to learn that I had torn my Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) and I would require surgery. This would begin my journey into humility. On the morning of this injury I had also run a 11:32 min. two mile Army APFT and this was the fastest time I had ever run in my life. I was feeling pretty confident about myself. 

I have discovered along this journey that I am more than what I thought I was but what I was is not what I should have been as a Christian. Whenever I would score touchdowns, make good plays in softball or do good on my Army APFT tests I never would glorify God. I would always say that I did it and I was the driving force behind my success. However, I was wrong and I am 100% sure God has used this as a life experience to teach me humility. 

Philippians 2:3-4 states: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also the interests of others."

Here is where this verse comes into play regarding this matter. I have a really good friend Jeramie Auchtung in Colorado and he is probably the closest friend I have had in my adult life. Jeramie will tell you that when we played softball together the last year we played together I hit 8 home runs in softball and I had never hit a home run prior to that season. When I would cross home plate I would yell "And he touches em' all." I was playing for my church in Lone Tree, Colorado known as Cornerstone Church of Lone Tree. This was not the example as a Christian that I should have been displaying. This is also the example I brought with me to Florida and it was wrong. I am not saying that you need to be like this guy every time you something. See Below.

BostonHerald.com

I am saying that as Christians we need to be giving glory to God and I honestly believe God has put me through the trial of having three knee surgeries in the last 24 months to help me understand that all things come from and through Him. During my sports playing days I should have always gloried Him in the abilities He gave me but instead I was too interested in glorifying myself. God puts us through trials not to punish us but to grow us as Christians. One should not feel that God has abandoned them because they have been through some rough times in life. Rather, we should look towards the heavenly father and say "Challenge accepted." This is not the approach I initially took when I found out the severity of my injury. I was mad, angry, and every other emotion you think a human being goes through I went through. However, this story of humility goes even further.

Four months after surgery I was released to start jogging again. While at physical therapy on the treadmill my knee bent backwards the wrong way and I felt a hard twinge in my knee but kept going. After this happened I repeatedly expressed to the physical therapists that something was wrong but no one wanted to hear what I had to say. So after a massive amount of complaining, two infections, almost losing the lower right half of my leg due to infection and three knee surgeries God is still teaching me more about myself. 

When reading this above mentioned verse the second part really speaks to how this injury has effected my family. By playing football at the age of 33 with kids almost half my age I was really looking out for my own personal interests. My wife had repeatedly asked me not to play football any longer. I think she knew God was trying to tell me something and when God is talking you need to listen. Here is how I know. 2009 Flag Football Season Grade Two Concussion, 2010 Flag Football Season Partially Torn Ligament in Right Foot, BTW I had just recovered from the foot injury when I tore my ACL. Wifey had asked me several times to pull it back a notch and just play softball but I refused to listen. If I had been looking out for the interests of my family and not just my personal fulfillment I would not be in the situation I am now. I honestly believe God does not want me to play football ever again and that He probably had been telling me that for a couple years. I refused to listen. God will speak to you through other people and as a Christian you should always be prepared to listen. God was speaking to me through my wife for three years and when I chose not to listen too many times He gave me a wake up call. I kind of liken it to the story of Jonah as he tried not to go to Nineveh. Although I had not been charged with speaking to a mass population about their sin I was charged with listening to Him through my wife and looking out for the best interests of my family. Since my surgery we have been unable to do fun things and spent many a day in a doctors office because of me. My injury has taken away from fun time with my daughter and adventures we could have had as a family. However, I know I have a good wife because she has stood by me through all of this mess. That's what this is A MESS.

With all this being said here is a simple solution to humility in life. When you do something good for someone else, score a run, write a good report, get a good grade. Don't be this guy. See below.

BleacherReport.com

Rather, be this guy (see below) and see if how people respond to your faith and love of Christ differently. 

Celebrate with those who helped you get there, appreciate those that helped you and always look out for the Christian brother or sister in your life. God Bless.